Just The 6 Of Us

It seems that I don’t have a lot of time lately to do the things that I want to do. I want to be at the new house and help there, but I need to be here with the kids. I want to scrap book all the time, but then would my house work get done. I wish I could take a nap from time to time, but it seems that I find something else that needs to be done instead. I want to blog too, but lately things have been crazy. When will I get time for me? I hope after this move is over with.

We are about 2 1/2 weeks away from our big move and I just cant believe that it is actually happening. It has been a year of work, work, work and more work. Time that was lost for Dale and I, but gained in a better home for us. Time was lost with family because of this mess, time that cant be made up. I guess it is time to move on. Move on and be happy with my time with my kids. 

I guess it is time that I let go of all that and made time for better days to come. I am filled with excitement and feel as though I am a kid in a candy store. I will make time to enjoy this house, time to scrap all the new memories to be mad there. Whoo Hoo…it is time and we are out of here soon!

This will be filled with chaos real soon
 

I did 2 layouts yesterday and hope to do more today. I really love the torn paper effect I learned how to do in these digital layouts.

I don’t have a lot of things going on right now, I went ahead and entered another Scrapbook forum. Can we say I may be getting a little bit addicted. This forum is having a contest called Funk it UP!Now I am not even sure that I should be participating in this, but it looks so much fun and I can learn a lot. So it is worth a shot. The talent that is already in the audition gallery is enough to make me think twice, but what the heck I am going for it.

I am worried though that with us moving in a couple weeks it will interfer with me being creative, but I guess we shall see. I need to work on some pages today, I am feeling crafty today
My girlfriend Erinhas gone on a scrapbook crop in the Poconos today and I want to go! She is gone for 4 days, will be  scrapping and having lots of uninterrupted adult conversation. I am green with jealousy right now! I can’t wait until she gets back and she can tell me all about it. I need to start saving now, so I can go the next time!

Here is a layout I did the other day for a My Life’s Journey on a terrific forum I belong to called ScrapLovers. If you need inspiration or something to challenge your creative side, join there, I love it.

In the past couple of days I have been doing a lot of reading on this topic. Some days I am finding it harder and harder to forgive and let go. The hurt sometimes hurts so bad you just want to lashout and hold onto this anger and little bit of control that you do have (or what seems to be control).

I am feeling so bogged down with all these emotions and all these grudges I am holding. Sometimes you just don’t want to let go and say I forgive you, because it feels better to be angry. I feel like I have to or should punish the person or persons who have done things that have hurt me. I am learning more and more about forgiveness and what it takes to do it. It isn’t easy, believe me.

Here are some passages that have spoken to me.

WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?
  Forgiveness is the act of setting someone free from an obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you. For example, a debt is forgiven when you free your debtor of his obligation to pay back what he owes you.
  Forgiveness, then, involves three elements: injury, a debt resulting from the injury, and a cancellation of the debt. All three elements are essential if forgiveness is to take place. Before we look in more detail at this process, however, we need to trace the sequence of events that lead to bondage when this process is abandoned. This is important because I believe most people who suffer from an unforgiving spirit do not know that unforgiveness is the root of their problem.
  All they know is that they just “can’t stand” to be around certain people. They find themselves wanting to strike out at people when certain subjects are discussed. They feel uncomfortable around certain personality types. They lose their temper over little things. They constantly struggle with guilt over sins committed in the past. They can’t get away from the ambivalence of hating the ones they know they should love the most. Such feelings and behavior patterns often indicate that people have not come to grips with the forgiveness of God and the implications of that forgiveness….

This is me right now “They can’t get away from the ambivalence of hating the ones they know they should love the most.” How can you love some one or be friends with someone when you have been done wrong? This is the hardest thing to let go of. Much prayer has been done over this.

THE REAL LOSER
  A person who has an unforgiving spirit is always the real loser, much more so than the one against whom the grudge is held. This is easy to see when we take a closer look at the things most people withhold from those they feel have wronged them. Unforgiveness, by its very nature, prevents individuals from following through on many of the specifics of the Christian life and practically necessitates that they walk by the flesh rather than by the Spirit.

After this paragraph tells you to read what Paul says in Galatians about this.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law…. If we live by the spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23,25)

“Self Control” *sigh* this is hard too, because I just want to be mad all the time. Relive all over, continue to talk about what ever the problem is to death. Seek revenge, make them pay. I am a Christian, but if I truly want to walk the right path, there is so much I still need to learn. I cant be with the spirit if I have unforgiveness in my heart. Throughout the bible you can see stories about what a forgiving God we have. It seems this would be so easy, but it isn’t. It is what Paul called walking according to the flesh.

Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are. . . enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying,…and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-8)

I am finding that this is so true as well, so I am going to try and work through my pains of unforgiveness and see what a change I can make in my life. I seriously think that it will help. Because I really want to move on and just to be able to love, enjoy my life and those in it.

MAKING THE PLUNGE
Holding on to hurt is like grabbing a rattlesnake by the tail; you are going to be bitten. As the poison of bitterness works its way through the many facets of your personality, death will occur–death that is more far-reaching than your physical death, for it has the potential to destroy those around you as well.
You may be on the brink of being set free from a bondage that you did not even know was keeping you a victim. You may be about to understand for the first time why you act the way you do in certain circumstances and why you cannot seem to control your temper. You may be on the verge of receiving the God-given insight you need to restore your war-torn home–this time for good.
  Whatever your situation, whatever has happened in your past, remember that you are the loser if you do not deal with an unforgiving spirit. And the people around you suffer too.

As I got to the end of this article, I realized that there is a book about this. THE GIFT OF FORGIVENESS, Dr. Charles Stanley.

So I think I will be getting this book and reading more about it. I want inner peace and peace in my life. What an awesome thing, for me to set the example. Reminds me of my Grandmother, she has the most forgiving heart of anyone I knew. She adored everyone, even though they hurt her or pushed her away. I think even if you aren’t a Christian, being a forgiving person and letting go of all your hurt and anger would benefit your life and impact all the people around you. And who knows maybe even lead you to the Lord.

Another great picture taken by my friend Melissa. Isn’t he a doll?!

That I am appreciated Today I got a phone call from my soon to be mother in law. She has been calling on a regular basis here lately, sometimes as much as 3 times a day. Well today was only 2 times and only because I had an appointment and she wasn’t sure when I would be back home *snicker*

I answer the phone and she says, “I would love to adopt you.” I was taken back for a minute. “I just think your wonderful.”, She says. We speak for a little while…which means I let her talk to me about various nonsensical things. Mostly about her parents, who are in their 90’s. And at the end of the conversation she says, “Trish, I want you to know that I am really glad you’re here, love ya.”

Now this really made my day, because I know she really meant it. I think it is because she has finally realized that I am the only person who really truly cares about her and her feelings. I respect her, I don’t ask her for anything or call her to complain! Unlike another person I know, which I won’t mention. I mean besides her husband and obviously her son.  This past week has been an awakening some what on her part.

I love my mother in law and I hope that we continue to become closer. So it was really nice to know that she DOES appreciate me.