Just The 6 Of Us

I have a moment in this busy Mom schedule of mine, to journal a little bit.

 I have been gone a lot this week and today I was able to stay home. Although I forced myself to stay home, because we were invited to walk this morning by another mommy friend. A couple of us have decided to start out walking in the mornings, to get a jump start on a healthy lifestyle. A lifestyle change is what I need. I am working on this. It is hard but definitely needed.

The big doctors appt. went smooth. We dont get any results until Oct 9th. I am not sure why they insist on making us wait for everything. You wait for an appt, when you get there you wait, in the exam room you wait and then you wait for them to schedule you another appt to get the results to the first appt. I think that we will be ok, I dont think any thing other than new medications will be the treatment for now. As long as it doesn’t get any worse. I was really scared because before the dr’s appt, I had to have the ambulance come. Your health isnt something that you should mess around with. I am seeing this more clearly now.

In your mind you think that oh nothing will ever happen to me and I will never be sick. Those things happen to other people. I never thought I would loose my grandmother but I did. With the new developments in my own home, I have a whole new outlook on these things. It is to close and I dont like it. The stress alone is a burden in its self. We are trying to stay positive and my friends are a really good source of encouragement and strength.

This weekend is our sons 9th birthday and my nieces 7th birthday. My niece will be in the wilderness with her girlscout buddies and our son isnt sure what he wants to do. So we shall see.

I am cleaning for pop-pop tomorrow and I hope he is in good spirits. He has been for a while now. I do know he is doing a little better, because he has the photo albums out now and we can sit and look at pictures. It is real nice, I hope to be able to go through another album this weekend.

Tonight I am sitting for my good friend Erin. She is on her way to pick up her husband who has been away for his job. It has been 2 weeks since she has seen him and I know she is so excited! I am excited for her. All of our kids are having a ball. Running around like crazy people. But hey I can let them, their mom isnt here and I will be the good guy…well at least for tonight

My mind this morning is a little garbeled this morning. Staying positive about everything that is on my plate right now, is a kind of hard. Today is the day of our big Dr’s appointment. I will know by the end of the day if further tests or treatments are needed. Keep us in your thoughts today. I hope to be able to come back and be able to say all is good.

Yesterday was a nice deterent from all my troubles. It was playdate day and we had a wonderful day. The kids played and I had wonderful company of my mommy friends. It is amazing that I am part of such a big diverse group of ladies.  Our conversations were about a million different things. I learn something new everytime I am around them.

I think I will do some digiscrapping today. Helps keep my mind busy. I need that today.

Have you ever had those mornings where you would just like to get up and start again? This is one of those mornings.

Mornings for me start around 6am. This morning wasn’t any different. I got up and went to make breakfast for Dale & Noah. No butter! Ok I know I had butter last night, well at least enough to make breakfast. I mean today is grocery store day, but I always make sure. Well someone (who shall remain nameless…*cough Dale cough*) got up and made something to eat in the middle of the night. Well with no butter this also puts Noah’s lunch in jeopardy, because he loves (I mean loves) butter and jelly sandwiches.

So here I am at 6:15 trying to figure out what to make for breakfast and lunch. So I made scrambled eggs with the scrapings out of the butter bowl, no toast. After waking them up I got Noah cold cereal and we had a discussion about what he would like for lunch. I went through all the possible scenarios and we even taste tested some different peanut butters I had in the cabinet. He settled on Honey Roasted Peter Pan peanut butter and grape jelly.

Now that Dale, Susan and Noah are gone. I can sit in front of my computer for a 1/2 hour to an hour with out the baby bothering me. HA! Not this morning. He is already crying and I go in to pick him up and see that I can’t. He has poo everywhere. I mean it is all up his back and down his pajama legs. It was disgusting. So off to the bathtub we go. While I am stripping him and running the water Elias gets up. Of course he comes directly in the bathroom because lord  knows when one of his brothers is in the tub he has to get in too. But see he just woke up so he isn’t quit with it yet. So what does Elias do, gets right in the tub with his spiderman boxers on. Now I have a poopy baby and a dripping wet 4 year old. While washing up Elias I wasnt paying attention and Adam decides we didnt need the bottle of shampoo on the ledge. So he squeezed most of it out, which is cool, I didnt like Pert anyway.

Only the lord knows how I finally made it to the car to go the store. I pull out of the driveway and realize I cant see, so I have to turn back around and get my glasses. I finally get to store and we are shopping having a good time, until we get to the dishwashing liguid section. This is where Elias feels he needs to climb around the cart and in doing so knocked a huge bottle of Dawn on the floor. Or course the little plastic cap went flying off, and Elias stpes right on it. Yep you guessed it, Dawn Oxy action was all over the place! UGH!

At this point I am ready for anything. I get to the check out and of course I get the girl who hates her job. Yeah me! Things are smooth until she was more worried about breaking a nail than ringing up y 24 pack of coke. Which the cardboard side came apart when she plopped it back under my cart and soda went rolling.  I didn’t even go and get another, I just gathered my loose soda and got out.

The baby is asleep now and Elias is in Cartoon heaven. If my evening is uneventful that will be fine by me!

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I did this one for the scrap forum I joined. It is call a Scraplift Challenge. It is where you use another person’s layout to make one of your own. Since I had never completed a challenge, Erin was so excited to answer all 1000 & 1 questions. I am happy with it, turned out pretty good!

That was a fun day, I cant wait to go again next summer!

Yesterday was his birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

The kids and I went over and spent the day with him.  It was a great afternoon.

This is a Layout that I did of my Dad and my son Adam from this summer.

Throughout the years my father and I have been distant, but starting last summer we had a great talk ad we have continued to talk.  I am glad that I have taken this step towards a better relationship with him. He is my father and even though some of the things he did when I was younger I cant agree with, I still owe it to me and my children to be an active part of his life. I have forgiven and forgotten (not switched sides). I love him and that is all that matters now.

Thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts for my family. We are going through some really hard times right now. Our stress level is through the roof and health problems dont make it any easier. This is a long road ahead and we will need continued support as we get through this.

I must ask all my dear close friends to please say some prayers for my family. We are having some serious health issues right now.

As the #2 in the 6 of Us it is very hard for me to be strong when this is happening. I am feeling quite stressed and sullen. I will continue to have faith and know everything will turn out ok.

This blog may be quiet for a couple days, till then keep us in your thoughts.

Last nights MNO was great! The food was awesome as was our host. We sat and ate wonderful food & the conversation was the best. I have come to call all these ladies my friends. They are people I can share my deepest feelings with and I also can trust them. There aren’t to many of these people in my life right now outside of my intimate household. I am grateful that I am blessed with friends like these.

Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers.” - Proverbs 18:24

I also have decided to let my “on-line” friends go. I have spent about 2 years getting to know at least 50 or more woman since I became pregnant with my last son in 2004. Because of recent events, most of these woman I held the most respect for have let me down. They are not the people that I thought they were and I am happy to not be in that circle. Of course I was upset when I left, but it is for the best. I am happy and only wish them happiness, even though I believe their actions were wrong and an invasion of my privacy. The other people that are in the circle should watch themselves. I am moving on and have “real-reach out and touch someone” friends that I can spend more of my time on and with.

I am also missing my son, who went to spend a couple of days with him Mom-Mom. Oh how that boy adores her. He lights up every-time she calls or comes by. Reminds me of my grandmother.

So for a couple of days it is just Adam and me. He is very clingy because his brother isn’t here to play with. I am hoping that tomorrow will be better, because Adam is trying to adjust, but it isn’t working very well. Poor guy is wandering all over the house, looking for something to get into.

Since I was feeling under the weather I decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to do some scrap-booking. I worked on a layout for the boys yesterday and I think it came out really well. I joined a scrapbook forum with one of my best friends and I cant wait to get more involved in the challenges and crops. Look at my boys arent they the cutest things. I am so proud of them.

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As far as my illness, I am beating it. I am hardly sneezing anymore and my head is clearing up some, so MNO here I come. A kid free night is exactly what I need.

I would really love to know how many times is it possible for someone to sneeze in one day! I have sneezed I know what seemed to be 100 times today. It could be allergies, because I dont feel bad. My sinuses arent to clogged. It could be the dreaded fall cold. I get one ever year but usually it is in Oct or Nov.

One thing I hate, is not being able to breath out of both my nostrils. Why is that when you sneeze one side or the other clogs up and you sound like you are talking underwater. Nose spray is my friend. It works in seconds and I feel normal for 3 hours. The bottle says 12 hrs, who are they kidding..HAHA!

I have 2 demands for what ever is trying to be me down. You have 2 days, buster to do what your going to do! Hear me 2 days! I have a MNO (Moms Night Out) to go to at 8pm Wednesday night that I am going to and your not going with me. I just found out that there is going to be all sorts of goodies. Angie is going all out, crab dip, brushetta, cake and Melissa is bringing heaven in can Dulce De Leche. You see I have to go, this is life or death situation. I am begging you, leave as quickly as you came.

Tomorrow is oj, rest, soaps and of course the Moms

Yesterday I went to the Hair Cuttery and got this long hair of mine chopped off. I could not believe it was to the middle of my back. I feel so free! It is bouncy, short and cute.

Here is before & after:

I was so nervous about doing it because I have been doing the ponytail thing for so long. I was afraid that I would have to start to blow-dry, curl and style my  hair everyday. The ponytail was so much easier. With this cut, I can do all that or I can just wash & go. You could call it a Mom cut and that is ok with me because with 4 kids I have to be able to just go at a moments notice.

I even got Elias’ hair cut too, so for $22.00 and a tip, we are a couple of cutie patooties
Before the hair cut we attended a birthday party for my nephew Jaden at Chucke Cheese. It was at 10 in the morning and at first I was concerned about eating pizza that early, but there wasn’t a sole in there up until about 12. It was nice. The kids had a ball and I was exhausted.

The Birthday boy and Elias

My brother was there and it was so great to see him. I really dont get to see him unless there is a family gathering. We both live in the same town too. I decided against talking to him about some things that I know hurt his feelings, because he seemed ok with me. I figure that I would let it go and if it ever came up I would deal with it later. I do want him to understand why I think the way I do and why I said some of the things I said. I never meant to hurt his feelings or make him mad. Sometimes we do or say things that seem great at the time, but when looking back it could have been handled a different way.

He is the type who isnt concerned about drama and isnt confrontational (like me) so I am sure he is going to let it blow over. As I am. It was good to see him, he is so handsome and tall. I can never quite get over how mature looking he has gotten. To me he is always my little brother, he probably will never know just how much I love him.

I had a great weekend. I spent it with the people I care about the most. And that is what it is all about.

These are from May, not much has changed except for a little more grass. The back is completely sided and we have a back deck. The scenery isnt much for the eyes, but next spring it will be so much better.

I have inside shots but you really cant see to much because it is still under the construction phase with the dry wall. I cant wait to paint and decorate. I have been searching for this one border for Adam’s room and I cant find it. I saw it at the Dr’s office and fell in love with it and of course they dont know what the name of it is. So I am going by memory. It was a perfect blend of browns and jungle characters. It was not to cartoonish or to wild looking. I know exactly the color of paint and curtains I want.

My kitchen is in the works too. I have decided on a nice color for that and I am not sure about a border. I might even stencil a design in the corners, just to give the yellow paint that pop. The yellow I picked is a soft yellow and it just makes me feel like home when I look at it. It is so welcoming.

I cant wait to get started the ideas are flowing. I even have alot of them written down so I wont forget when it is time. Sad huh?!

I have never had anything that is mine, that I can do whatever I want with it, when I want too. It feels surreal sometimes that I am getting my own home. That I will be able to raise my children here, have my grandchildren here and one day be able to pass it on. What a great feeling.

As of yesterday we have electric at our new house…..WOOT WOOT!!!! I have light, I never thought that this would happen. After one problem after another, inspections and wiring. I thought we would be living like Lincoln.

This is one more small step towards us moving into our house. Although we had one small problem with a pipe when the water pump was turned on. So that has to be fixed this weekend. Then the inspection for that will take place. We have more inspections for the additions themselves and it will be a race to the finish.

I cant believe it; we have electric and water! I am just so excited. We all are excited. Dale has worked so hard with his Dad and the two of them made this happen. Working all during the week, going to the house at night when he gets off work, every weekend for over a year and not to mention his Dad. He Dad has been so wonderful to me and my kids. I dont think I will ever be able to thank him.

I am so proud of Dale and what he has accomplished for our family. He truly is a caretaker and just an amazing person.

We would love to spend our first Christmas in our new home. I cant wait to decorate a real tree and decorate the front of my house. Have the big dinner and be with me family.

It will be time for carpet selection, cabinets for my kitchen, borders & paint for my kids rooms. I have all these things I need to do there and so much more to do at this house. Oh the work here, I dont even want to think about it…ugh! It depresses me to even think about it.

I almost forgot we even have an address now and a mailbox. It is the little things that make me happy too!

I wonder how many Moms go around singing that tune or Wiggles, Elmo or Blues Clues I know I do.  

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Yesterday I spent all morning at 2 different Dr’s having my oldest foot looked at. On Friday she had a fight with a soccer ball and mat, guess who won
Her big toe and all up her foot was black and blue, so off to the Dr we go. It isn’t broken but she has a really bad bone bruise. The bone Dr said the pull on the bone was pretty bad and just a little bit further we would be looking at a whole lot of damage.

Last year she was in an arm cast because of Hockey. She is my tom-boy, rough and tumble kind of gal. I am sure this is just the beginning of her many injuries this year.

Sometimes I wish she was more of a girly girl, but with 3 brothers I am glad she isnt. They love how she doesnt mind getting dirty or sweating. Neither do I because she keeps them all busy

That morning I was at work. At that time I was working for an online company and my fiance and I worked at the same place. This was an especially happy morning for the 2 of us because just a month before we found out we were expecting a baby and at 9:15 we were to have our very first dr’s appt.

News in that little office traveled so very fast and within an instant there were TV’s brought out and radio’s on. We all stood there in horror as we watched. Some were crying, others on the phone, me, I just stood there holding my stomach in shock. The CEO made the announcement that if we wanted to go home we could. I just couldn’t move.

I almost didnt go to the appt, because I just didnt know what was going to happen next. Dale and I finally decided to just get in the car and go. If the office closed then we would go home. On the way, we heard about the second plane crashing. As we drove we were silent.

The Dr’s office was silent, but full of people. It was an eary silence. My thoughts traveled to the people. Oh my the people that died. What were they thinking as they saw that they werent going to live. Did they pray, did they curse, did they cry, did they scream or were they silent.

When I went back to the room and we heard the heartbeat of our new baby, I had tears. We were given this new life and all these horrible things were happening to other people and our country.

The rest of the day was filled with confusion, sadness, shock and speculation. I didn’t turn off the TV for a very long time.

I will never forget that day or how I felt. This is a frozen memory, I will be forever changed because of it. Here I am given this miracle and so many lost their moms, dads, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters and grandparents.

I hold tight to my loved ones, my children, my fiance and my faith a little more closer than before. It all can change in an instant.

Our world changed that day, but as a country we all became one. At that very second it didn’t matter what separated us before. We were untied and forever will hold this day close to our hearts.

So today I remember. I remember the 2,996 people who perished that day. I remember the hero’s who tried to save them. I remember the love of a country in mourning. I remember with family, my fellow bloggers, my moms group and my close friends. We will never forget!

Forever-fragrant garden

With beauty all around

Blossoms of the rarest kind

Can easily be found

No winter’s chill now comes to me

No need to be disheartened

I’ll rest here now, forevermore In God’s eternal garden

Today, one year ago, my grandmother went home to be with Jesus. The poem was on her memorial bookmark. I keep this on my refrigerator with her picture to always remember her. I find it more easy to talk about her as the time goes by. She was a huge part of this family and is deeply deeply missed.

I never thought I would make it through this year, but the day of her funeral I was drying off from my shower and I heard her say, “Tricia, don’t be sad.” It was clear and crisp, like she was standing right there. I felt this calming come over me and I was warm all over. I am sure most would think I was crazy and distraught, but I believe in all my heart it was her. I spoke with my Aunt about it, she just knew that it was her and she was the only one I have ever told, until today.

I never got to talk with my grandmother before she had the ventilator put in and I felt for a long time I was cheated in those things that you want to say. Those last words to each other. But my last memories of her are not in that bed, hooked up to machines and grief. My memories are all those before. I knew she loved me, I knew she was proud of me, I knew she loved my choice in a future husband, I knew she was proud of my children, I knew she wanted me to be happy, how do I know these things. Because she told me every chance she could.

She was a woman of God and oh how she loved to tell us about him. She wanted us all to be saved and be with her someday in heaven. Those were her last words to the nurse, before she was ventilated. “Tell them, If I don’t make it through this, I will see you all in heaven.”

As I struggle to hold back tears, I remember that even though today is a sad day, it is also a celebration. One because Mom-Mom is in heaven and two because today is my nephew Jaden’s 4th birthday. So even though one life is gone and young new life is here and we should focus on that. Life goes on and so must we.

     If I knew it would be the last time That I’d see you fall asleep,
     I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
     If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
     I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

     If I knew it would be the last time I’d hear your voice lifted up in praise,
     I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
     If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute
     to stop and say “I love you,” instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

     If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
     Well I’m sure you’ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

     For surely there’s always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
     and we always get a second chance to make everything just right.
     There will always be another day to say “I love you,”
     And certainly there’s another chance to say our “Anything I can do?”

     But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
     I’d like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
     Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
     And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

     So if you’re waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
     For if tomorrow never comes, you’ll surely regret the day,
     That you didn’t take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
     and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

     So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,
     Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear
     Take time to say “I’m sorry,”  “Please forgive me,” “Thank you,” or “It’s okay.”
     And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.

This morning I opened my email and I had a message from 2 people I lost contact with after I decided to become a SAHM and quite my job (over 5 years ago).

I cant wait to reconnect with them and hear all about their lives and kids. They were really special friends and great to work with.

It is nice to know that I am being thought about. I am going to try and get a lunch date in the works!

Also I think, I think now, we may have electric at our new house. WOOT WOOT! If we do then we can work at night! So close but yet still so far away, until our move.

Adam goes for a Dr appt today. Those dreaded shots are waiting for him. Poor guy, kills me everytime he has to go through that. Well I am going to get the motrin ready and head out.

Thirteen Bible Verses 1.”Each one of us will give an account of himself to God.” Romans 14:12 2. “If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, and if you scoff, you alone will bear it.” Proverbs 9:12 3. “Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9 4.”A righteous man who walks in his integrity — How blessed are his sons after him.” Proverbs 20:7 5.”The righteous cry, and the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” Psalms 34:17 6.”He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 7.”I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 8.”Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in Me will never thirst.’” John 6:35 9.”Your ears will hear a word behind you, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ whenever you turn to the right or to the left.” Isaiah 30:21 10.”Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.” 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 11.”Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him.” Colossians 3:9-10 12.”I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” John 16:33 13.”Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 I have turned more toward the bible in the past couple of weeks. I have found that I am not without fault, I should not give one more day to its worry. I am giving it up, I am laying it at his feet. He has a plan for me and I need to be still, be quiet and listen. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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This is my latest paper scrapbook layout. I am getting so into it, I cant hardly wait until I move. So I can have a room of my own to create in. I want to buy things. Paper, adhesive, tags, ribbons, embellishments, brads, velum (I learned all about that on Saturday), rub ons, stamps and paper. Oh the paper. The paper you can get is so pretty. I just want to dive right in.

I will wait though, because for one it really isnt in my budget right now, with the house and moving. For 2 I have no where to put any of it when I do buy it. So I will have to impatiently wait.

In the mean time, I have been getting some great lessons from my friend. I go over and we have a mini crop. Which I highly suggest to anyone. Get some girlfriends together and sit around the table and talk about everything, while cutting and gluing.

I do seriously need to find my pictures. Because I packed them up and I dont remember which box to put them in. I swear I am slipping, I have not been labling my boxes this past week, so lord knows what I have in there. It will be a surprise when I open them Oh look a mixer and my pictures…..surprise!

I had a great time making this layout with Erin and another one of our friends. She was a great & patient teacher. She even let me use her Chatterbox paper..WOOT WOOT! So thanks Erin for all your creative help! Can’t wait to invade your scrap-booking supplies again! *MUAH*

*The page above is my grandmother that passed last year, myself at 4 and my sister newborn in 1975. The quote reads,”A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” John Bowring*