2012-The Truth

A New Year brings all kinds of new starts, new goals and new and old promises to yourself. What ever you decide to do, don’t be like me and fake it.

Up until today, I’ve been faking my weight loss journery. I said all the right things to myself and even convinced myself that I was doing them.

I wrote this blog post back in November (Life is Hard…Food is Easy). I took the advice given and it lasted maybe 2 weeks, if that. So here I am, again.

I was talking to a friend today and I was finally completely honest with her and myself. This is what I said:

I say I’ve started, but not like before. I don’t have the drive I did before, it’s just not there. To much emotional crap in my way. I’ll get there, who knows when. I say what people want to hear from me, it’s better than the poor pitiful me posts about where I have days I can’t even get off the couch. No one wants to hear that.

I’ll always be hurting, there is no getting over that. I am not the kind of person that needs that kind of attention. And I don’t want to post about it and having people think they need to make it better, when it won’t be. It never WILL!

I just keep thinking there are more important things going on than that. I have to work this out on my own. I am the type of person who has to be there for everyone else, to make sure everyone else is ok. And plus there really isn’t anything that anyone can do.

Her response:

Life happens and being honest with yourself and how you feel is more important than scales or exercise mintutes. But it IS what it is and letting people know and support you isn’t seeking attention. It is part of the healing process. But it WILL get better. It will never be OK but it will get better.

I know you well enough to know that you probably look at that lack of will as some sort of personal failure when that is so totally not the case!

 

Then I told her to get out of my head..LOL! She is right. 2010 I was on fire, dropped 70lbs. 2011 sucked! I failed in 2011 and not having the will to get up and do this again is another failure. I am a great supporter and cheerleader for other people, because I’ve been there and I want them to have great success.  Why don’t I want the same for myself?

Since I have told the truth (again), I should publicly make some small goals and get help from you.

Goals

  1. Water, I love water. Got to get up and fill it.
  2. Smaller meals & less snacking
  3. NO emotional eating, find something else to do when I am feeling the need to sit on the couch.
  4. I do not have to be perky, chipper Trish all the darn time..stop faking it. Take the time I need to deal with my emotions.
  5. Find someone to talk to when I need it. Stop hiding.
  6. Finally 1st small weight loss goal, 10lbs.

 

I feel like I should apologize to everyone, but in reality it is myself that I need to say that too. As Tara & Meegan said to me in November I need, “to be kind to myself and to my heart.”

I signed up for the New Shrinking Jeans Challenge-Shrink Yourself in 2012. Our Moms group has a small weight loss/get healthy group. This is a great (re) start for me. Both places rock when it comes to encouragement & support.  There is no reason for me to do this all by myself.

It’s time to start to heal, my brother would want that for me.

 


 

 

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Love & Coconut Custard Pie

There are some things that I don’t do well, shocker, huh? Baking is on the top of that list. Betty Crocker I am not! I burn slice n’ bake cookies.

Thanksgiving was going to be hard for us, so when my sister asked for a Coconut Custard Pie, there was only one thing to do….make it myself.

The hard part was trying to find the perfect, but easy recipe. Twitter is so lovely for things like this.

I tweeted that I need a tried and true recipe for coconut custard pie, within  minutes I received several replies.  I decided to go with Rubi Jayne’s recipe.

You can visit her blog (Coconut Cream Pie Recipe(s) – for @TrishB)
to see both of the recipes she posted for me.

I made the Coconut Custard Pie, and it was the most delicious pie ever. Ruby Jayne rocks!  I followed this recipe with the hands of a surgeon. Scalding milk is serious business, heh. I babied it, watched it, wrapped the crust in aluminum foil so it wouldn’t burn and waited. This is what came out of my oven:

Happy Dance!

All the love I have for my sister was in this pie. I love her more than anything in this world. If I could give just one small piece of happiness this Thanksgiving, I would have done just about anything. I am sure my brother was looking down, watching me make this pie and laughing his butt off.

There were some tears that day, but most off all there was love.

My Brother's Wife Melissa, My Sister Christina & Me

Melissa, Will & Kamryn (My Niece/Nephew). Me, Elias & Adam (My Boys)

Melissa, Christina, Mom & Me

A lot of LOVE!

 

 

 

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Life is Hard….Food is Easy

As hard as a weight loss journey is, sometimes you don’t prepare yourself for the harder things. For me I expected things to get in the way, to have bumps along the road, to go off course from time to time. What I didn’t expect is how I would handle something big, something that I didn’t have control over.  My brother’s sudden death knocked me out, put me flat on my face, and into a almost 3 week secret eating binge.

Life is hard. Sometimes it’s so full of bullshit, I can hardly think, let alone stop the things that I do to myself. And let me tell you, me & my family losing my brother is over the top bullshit. This is where food is easy.

I call it grief eating.

In order to deal with this horrible pain, I’ve been eating it away. Shoving it so far down inside with all kinds of unhealthy things; I really haven’t had time to feel.

When people ask me how I am doing. I say, I’m ok. You see, I can’t really “break” down. Well that’s not true, I did have one, the day I got the call (thank you Shannan for being there). Since then, there have been none. I have always felt that since I am the oldest, I am the one who has to be strong for everyone else. There has to be at least one person who has it all together and be on their toes for what ever some one may need. Again this is an example of how food is easy. Eating gives you comfort. It never fails, it’s there anytime I need it. I don’t need anyone to be there for me, I have food.

On Sunday, I recognized what I was doing. I was just sitting on my bed, thinking about my brother, and I had 4 cookies in my hand. Cookies that I had baked, “for the kids”.  Then I began to feel ill, because I remembered the night before I ate an entire large cheese steak and order of fries.

At that moment, I knew I had to make a choice. I knew I had to reach out to someone. Someone who could relate, another weight loss journey friend. Hoping that they would have some advice on how to get back to where I needed to be.

Tara & Meegan, where right there with a response in a couple of minutes.  What they had to say gave me hope and some peace. I was given permission (not that I need it, but I did) to grieve without food.  I need to go back to the basics. Start from the beginning. Start logging my food, so I would conscientiously have to decide what to eat. And more importantly, permission to be kind to myself and to my heart.

I have to cope with my feelings and not eat them.

I am mad, and so profoundly sad that I will have to go through the rest of my life with out seeing this beautiful smile in person.

Yesterday, was a new day.

I let myself feel.

I didn’t eat excessively.

I logged my food.

I cried a lot.

Today, I stepped on the scale.

Life goes on, whether we are actively participating in it or not.

I choose to participate.

 

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” ~Kenji Miyazawa

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My Brother & Extreme Home Make Over

I have been working on a project as a keepsake for my brother’s 4 children . I want a dedication for my brother, at the end of an episode of Extreme Home Make Over.

Late Sept/Oct 2011, my brother volunteered with his company to install HVAC in the make over house. His wife also was there, tirelessly donating their time. As you know on 10/31/2011 my brother was killed in a car accident. I have made many, many phone calls and have sent countless emails to executives, producers and designers. I still haven’t heard anything. I probably won’t, but I will not give up.

My brother was very proud of the work he was able to do for the family. He even personally helped one of the designers (Paige Hemmis). The A/C in her trailer stopped working and  my brother fixed it for her. He said how nice she and appreciative she was.

We have these pictures of him & his wife from the MakeOver site and they make me smile. He was a master of his craft and the family will be warm this winter and cool next summer.

Extreme Home Make Over

Extreme Home Make Over

My Brother's Wife-Melissa & Ed-Designer

As I said before I will not give up hope that someone will return my call or email. If we aren’t able to get the dedication, we will just purchase copies when it becomes available.

I believe the episode that my brother worked on will air early December.  If any one of my readers may know of another way I could get in touch with someone, please let me know.

 

 

 

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Dear Michael

It’s been a week since you left us. A week of disbelief, shock, pain and but through all that we smiled and we laughed. I know you loved all the attention you got this past week.  You were always the life of a party.

Oh my, Michael did you see all the people who came? Over two hundred people were packed in that tiny funeral home. They were waiting outside to get in, lined down the street! Did you hear all the wonderful stories that were told? I don’t think I have laughed that much in a long time. I am sure you loved it when Christina & I stood up and gave our tribute to you and we included the time we put you in the dryer when you were 4.

I am sitting here thinking about you.

Your son is here.  He is still sleeping.

I have spent a lot of time with your babies since last week.

Will wore his Steelers Jersey yesterday and was excited to have your friends over for the football party.  Christina took them riding on the big tractor and he was driving. Of course you know me, I panicked the whole time.

You would be happy to know your friends are going to fix that truck you have been working on. At least this one will still have a top on it. We talked about the time you had that little blue truck and you cut the top off in the middle of winter. You were proud of that and we are still going what the…..! I never did understand why you did some of the crazy stuff you did. You are one of a kind.

Melissa is giving Christina your P90X DVD’s. Which made me laugh because the last time we were together, you were so sore because you had just started it. But you hugged me anyway, you told me you loved me.

I told your wife that there was so much I wanted to say to you. You & I, we had our problems, didn’t we. I always tried to Mother you, even though you were 30.  I guess that is what big sisters are for, right? I think it was in my job description when you were born.

I never told enough how much I loved you or how proud I was of you. I know you knew, but I wish I said the words more often. I don’t have guilt or regrets of the times we were at each other, because if we didn’t love each other,  we wouldn’t have bothered.

Thirty years with you wasn’t enough. Sometimes when I go to bed, I think when I  wake up the next morning, it would all of have a dream. But it isn’t is it? You’re gone, in a much better place and now there is a huge hole in my heart.

I know our Grandparents were there to met you and now watching over you. I am doing what I do best and looking out for Mom, Dad and the rest of our family.

AND don’t you worry about your children. I won’t let them out of my sight.

Whatever they need I’ll get it.

I.PROMISE.YOU!

I love you more than words can say. I will miss you, until I see you again.

My Sister Christina, Me & My Brother Michael

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Blogging at #Twitloss Today

I am so lucky to be part of such a big variety of weight loss places. Places where, support, encouragement and advice is key in helping anyone on a weight loss journey. You can never have to many places or people in your life when it comes to weight loss support!

One of those places is Twitloss. A group of woman that started sharing their journeys on Twitter. I followed them all on Twitter and the Twitloss blog. Just recently I was asked to be a contributing writer. To share my journey, my struggles, my victories and any advice I have for others.

Today was my first blog post over there. Oh the Places You’ll Go!

I hope you will stop by and say Hello.

 

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A Little Help for my Friends

Over the course of my weight loss journey I have met some of the most wonderful people. People who share the same struggles and victories. I have those who I know in real life that are going through this and I have those who I have met online. My online friends have become as close to me as my real life friends. You can never have enough people on your side cheering you on, supporting you, helping you to walk away from cheesecake, pushing you to do one more workout or just one more mile.

I joined a great community a while back, Shrinking Jeans. They issued challenges, wrote about the right/wrong way to go about losing weight, got me running and became one of my biggest cheerleaders. Earlier this year they welcomed me as part of their “family” as one of their Social Sisters for the ‘Hood. Since that time I have gotten to know each one of their writers on a more personal level and all I can say is they are more extraordinary than I thought possible.

This is where I ask for your help.

The SisterHood of the Shrinkingjeans has been nominated for SHAPE Best Blogger Award

SHAPE Blogger Awards

If you could please just take a second to click on the above badge and vote for them. You don’t have to register, just click to vote. That’s it! I want them to have this award. They deserve it. The time they have spent helping me and 1,000′s of others reach their potential is outstanding.

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1,867 Hours Until Christmas

WHAT? No, it’s not even Halloween yet.

This year I am going to try to be ready early. I say that every year and every year I get a little further behind than the year before. One thing I fall behind on is Christmas Cards. I usually wait until the last minute and have to end up getting a blah box of cards from a store.  There was one year I did take the time to snap a photo of my kids and send them out, on time no less. You want to know what year that was? 2003. Eight years ago! So embarrassing!

This year I find myself with a to do list that is already on page 2 and not many things crossed off. I am determined to get a great photo of my boys and make some beautiful cards.

I swoon over the cards that the members of my Moms group give to each of us at our annual Christmas Party. I love cards and all the pretty faces of my friends and their family. I take all of those beautiful cards and tape them around my bookshelf.  After Christmas, I trim up the photos and pin them to my memo board in my kitchen. Speaking of which I am running out of room…hmmm, must get another memo board and figure out where to put it.

My favorite type of  cards are those that just not only say Merry Christmas but are something that is fun and quirky. Like a silly family shot, a photo of kids baking making a mess, your pet with it’s head in a stocking or colors that aren’t typically are associated with the Holidays. I am a silly type of gal!

Going through the Tiny Prints site, I found a couple that I really love:

I have so many ornaments on my tree from over the years and I think this would be a nice addition to my collection for my family and me.

Ohhh this one is so fun! I love that I can put so many photos on there, especially the silly ones!

Naughty or Nice. I wonder which one my boys will fall under this year..ha!

Oh this one has the title of my favorite Christmas song!

There are just to many to choose from, I love them all! Decisions, Decisions! You will have to go take a peek at the Tiny Prints Holiday Line. Trust me you won’t just be peeking you will be browsing for an hour. Good luck picking just one!

 

This post was sponsored by Tiny Prints:

Shop Early, Save Big! 15% Off Holiday Card Orders of $99+ or 20% Off $199+ | Code: HOLCARD11| Ends 10/11

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Motivation

Do you need some? I sure as heck do, especially now! Things have changed for me this year, well not so much in my journey as in my frame of mind. I was talking to one of my friends, as we sat on the beach, and I came to the startling conclusion that I have been battle the same 7lbs all year. Up & down over and over again. My weight really hasn’t changed at all.

The whole day afterwards (even after her words of encouragement) I was upset! One of the reasons is, I looked at it as a failure. Because let’s face it, I could have lost another 40 or so lbs in that time. I would love to blame this on my hip injury that caused me not to be as active. I can not do that. It’s me, all me and my motivation. I believe that I have become complacent in my journey.

Motivation: desire to do; interest or drive

Earlier this summer a fitness friend of mine Christie called out for photo’s of  “Your Moments” with a little sentence or 2 about what we were thinking at the time.  I sent mine in. What she posted a little later, was something I wasn’t expecting.

The Jar of Motivation: You in Pictures

“Creating a place where you can see how far you’ve come, a place where other people can see how far you’ve come, but most of all, a place where other people can see how far they too can go.” ~Christie

What I do know is this….I am able to maintain. And that is not a failure! That is something I should be proud of. All I need is a little push, to go further.

Today,  I watched this video again, saw myself & many other inspirational people and teary eyed……

I REACHED INTO THE JAR!

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Waiting & Praying

As Hurricane Irene slowly approaches us we are not so patiently waiting for it to be over. We are prepared as we can be. Being a Mom there are lots of things I can control, but Mother Nature I can not.

As I type this, Hurricane Irene should be here around 6pm. I look around my house and I see windows tapped, ply wood boards laying up against the walls, candles, flashlights, cases of water, a suitcase, a bag with food and ice. In my bathroom is full of food, pillows and blankets in case we have to move in there if this gets to bad. Trying to keep my 3 boys calm with all this strange stuff is so hard. Answering questions from them is also hard, they have a lot of  “what ifs”.  So do I.

I want to ask that all my friends pray for us here in little ole Delaware.  I believe in the power of prayer and it can beat the power of a Hurricane.

“Father, all the elements of nature obey your command.  Calm the storms and hurricane that threaten us and turn our fear of your power into praise of your goodness.  Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever.  Amen.”

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All day

In the past week I have noticed a lot of my friends kids have already gone back to school. I feel blessed because my oldest doesn’t go back until next Monday and my 2 little ones don’t go back until Sept 6th. The thing is we LOVE summer, it’s our favorite season. I adore having all 3 of my boys home with me all day long. So we are trying to squeeze in as much fun as possible.

This year is big for me. I thought that last year, with Adam starting Kindergarten, was a huge milestone, but not really. This year all 3 of my boys will be in school all day. This means I get the house to myself.

I have this vision of me just sitting in the chair in my living room, with the TV off (no cartoons) sipping my coffee, listening to the silence. Oh the silence. I am a little freaked out because it will be so quiet. No “Mom” a thousand times a day or “can I have a snack”.

I may have to say those 2 statements to myself, so I don’t go crazy.  I think, I say I think, because who knows what I’ll do, but I think I will be making myself a schedule. I know me, I will clean the whole house in one day and have nothing left to do but stare at the cat. Because, think about it, there is only so much cleaning you can do or want to do, HA!

I know I will be missing  those smiling little dirty faces, or I may find myself floating in my pool all by myself thinking, wow this is nice.

Big changes for our house this school year, 1st grade, 4th grade & 8th grade. I just hope I can keep up.

This post was brought to you by Tiny Prints. A must for Back to School shopping. Stop by to see what Tiny Prints have to offer.  From Lunch Box Notes, Allergy Cards, Teacher Stationary, Teacher Appreciation Cards, Notebooks, Note Pads and Activity Planners. Tiny Prints has a wonderful selection!

 

 

 

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Every Day in August

I have taken on a challenge that my friend Erin is doing, the August Daily. Every day in August we are to take a photo. Doesn’t matter what the photo is, there are no themes or prompts to follow. Just a photo that represents something you did that day. I haven’t been very good at taking photos lately. My attempts to do Project 365 and Project 52 have failed miserably every time.

I have more time this month to focus on other things. Since my hip injury during a run 3 weeks ago, I am doing a lot more resting and recovering. Doc says no more running at least for 6 weeks. She wants me to quit running, but uhmmm yeah that isn’t happening.

This photo challenge seems to be a great way to fill in the gaps and to tell a little story of our life through my thoughts, actions and things we all do around here in photos.

August 1st: This is Adam’s corn. He planted this corn by himself and didn’t tell anyone. One day when cutting the grass, I almost pulled this up, because at the time it looked like a big weed. Dale said, “that’s not a weed, that’s corn!”

Adam planted this corn next to our front steps, right in my flowers. He is very excited now, because as you can see, there is a corn cob there.

 

August 2nd: One day in July Dale came home with a surprise for me. It wasn’t flowers or chocolate, it was boxing gloves! Since I can’t do any lower impact exercises because of my hip, he thought this would be a great way to get some cardio in. What I didn’t expect was that Elias would love them just as much as I do.

Here is Elias going at the heavy bag with the boxing gloves. He loves it and let me tell you, he is very good!

 

August 3rd: I think Adam may be a farmer when he grows up. We were at Lowe’s a while back and we found tomato plants on sale. Adam and I planted them in the back yard and now have tomatoes on them. Since he saw me take a photo of his corn he insisted that I take one of the biggest tomato he is growing. And almost every day he asks when will it turn red.


August 4th: Today was a special day because it was my lil’ sister’s Birthday. Since she had to work and I don’t get to see her much, I took a picture of an old photo. This in turn made her all teary eyed. The left side of the photo is me holding her in 1975 (she was 1 week old), the right side is of her and I in July 2011. Happy Birthday Sis, I love you!

 

August 5th: The boys and I are always outside. We discovered this creature a couple of nights ago and have been going outside to visit her every day, just to see what she is doing. This is a Writer Spider, she is huge (about the length of my finger, if not longer). She has a very intricate, beautiful web. They are harmless and won’t bother you. The funniest thing about this spider is, if you get to close she will shake her web at you. The boys and I were creeped out at first, because she is very scary looking, but now we appreciate her. As Adam says, “she’s eating all the other nasty bugs, like ‘squitos. I really don’t like ‘squitos!”

 

Tonight 8/6, I have Mom’s Night Out with my girlfriends AND I am really going to enjoy my day & evening. Because, today is my last day of being 39!

I posted that on my FaceBook this morning and my friend Elise said,  “Looks like you got the first step covered….acceptance.”

Ha, Ha, Ha! I think, she’s so funny!

 

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It’s that time again #ShrinkingJeans

I didn’t get a chance to blog last week’s check in. Unfortunately I was attending another funeral.

I am really enjoying this challenge, I am more focused on every thing. And I love the fact that Dale and I are doing it together. He isn’t doing the challenge, he is doing his own thing. We talk fitness, food and healthy related things all the time.

 

Challenge 6/15 Start weight-220

Check in 6/22 Weight-217

Check in 6/29 Weight-215.8

Check in 7/6 Weight-216

Check in 7/13 Weight- 215

Down -1lb

Over all  -5lbs

Every 2 weeks I take my measurements and this morning I did a happy dance. When Dale woke up, I said I have announcement to make. He laughed and said what. With a big grin on my face I said my waist measurement is in the 30′s. I don’t think I have ever been able to say that, ever! HELL YEAH!

I was really mad at my battle with stomach fat a couple of days ago, today not so much. Take a look at what my overall measurements are now (since starting the challenge)…

Neck:  -.5

Arm:  -.5

Calves:  -.5

Thighs: +1

Chest: -3

Waist: -3

Hips: -2.5

I have lost 10 inches off my body.  Boot Camp ROCKS!!!!

OMG I have to say it again 10 inches people! TEN!

Mini Challenges:

Water-check

Breakfast every day-check

Fruits & Veggies- most days, but I still struggle sometimes. Thank God for V8!

No Fast Food- check, this is easy we don’t eat out.

New mini challenge- 7+ hrs of sleep, I think I get this but I will track it with my handy dandy FitBit and will know for sure by next week.

Boot Camp

We are in Week 4 and I am not phoning it in. Christy increased our reps for each exercise and damn that is hard. A little more stopping to catch my breath, but I am doing it. Monday, I also did 50 extra reps with some reverse crunched and regular crunches :) Stomach fat be gone! I am still running as well and was able to get in 14.5 miles since last check in. And when I got into the pool with the kids, I did some of the Boot Camp exercises. It is much easier to some of the exercises when the water is helping you. Let me just give you and FYI, 8 Sprinting burst may kill me in, case you don’t see me around, that’s what happened! Ahahahaha!

I am so happy I have learned that my scale isn’t my only measure of success.

 

 

 

 

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The Stomach Fat Battle

I am usually really upbeat and positive about my weight loss journey, love to talk about running, exercise, recipes and how far I’ve come. There are days, like this weekend and today, when I get mad, envious, and just sad. Not sad to the point of  “oh I am going to give up.” Never that! I will keep going no matter what.

My darling sweetheart has been working out with me, running and because he is a man, his stomach fat is almost gone. He looks so amazing. Of course he tells me I do too. But damn it my stomach fat is there, like a tire going around my stomach and hips. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have wonderful collar bones LOL, my legs are more muscular and I have hot ankles. My waist is even smaller.  And, I am very proud of all the hard work I have done, but….

I have this (which is a bit bigger)

and it is causing me to cuss!

I was blog reading this weekend and I just love to read success stories like Colleen, Tara, RedStar5 and many others.  Now, I know, I know that no journey is the same, we all are different, our body’s are as well, but after a year on mine, I want what they have.

After talking to Brooke, I have come to the conclusion  that it ok to feel this way and that I just have to suck it up and work much harder.  My belly fat will be gone eventually,  it won’t happen overnight, in a year or even maybe two.

It will I just have to be patient, but today I am mad as hell and will work twice as hard from now on!

 

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Getting my Shrink on #burstn2summer

I am so excited I sat here for a few minutes trying to articulate what I wanted to say as my first sentence in this blog post. :)

What I will do is just throw out some numbers.

Now, my weight loss this week was good, not as high as last week, but still nice.

 

Challenge 6/15 Start weight-220

Check in 6/22 Weight-217

Check in 6/29 Weight-215.8

Down -1.2 lbs

Over all -4.2 lbs

This is where it gets good! ;)

At the start of this challenge I took my measurements, because with Boot Camp I knew that I would be losing some inches and building muscle. After my weigh in, I took out my tape measure.

Neck:  -.5

Arm: -.5

Chest: -2.5

Waist:- -2

Hips: -1

I have lost 6.5 inches! HELL YEAH & a WOOT!

Now because of Boot Camp & those lovely squats & all my running, I added 1 inch to my thighs & .5 inch to my calves.

Mini challenges:

Water-I am drinking at least 90+oz a day

Breakfast-Every single day

Fruits & Veggies-this is a new mini challenge, but hopefully I will get this in as well. I don’t do as well as I should.

Boot Camp:

Boot Camp kicks my ass, literally! After Monday’s workout, I laid on the floor for 10 mins, thinking I am dead. Week 2 is no joke. I was reading Christy’s post this morning about sprints and how we should not be phoning it in. Well I sure as hell didn’t on Monday. I ran so hard, I lost my phone and my MP3 player. I was also thinking, OMG if I go any faster I could take of flying or if I don’t pay attention my feet are going to get tangled up at any moment and I will face plant. I never thought I could go that fast.

At least I know if  Zombies are ever chasing me, I have a good shot of out running them, ahahahaha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Forever in our Hearts

Roxie

If it should be..

If it should be that I grow weak

And pain should keep me from my sleep;

Then you must do what must be done,

For this last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad, I understand

But don’t let grief stay your hand.

For this day, more than the rest,

Your love for me must stand the test.

We’ve had so many happy years;

What is to come must hold no fears.

You don’t want me to suffer so

The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they’ll tend,

But please stay with me until the end.

To hold me close and speak to me

Until my eyes can longer see.

I know in time you will agree,

It was a kindness done for me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I’m saved.

Please do not grieve that it was you

Who had this painful thing to do.

We’ve been so close, through the years,

Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

 

I remember this poem and know that Roxie is thankful that we were able to do this for her. Dale, the kids & I laid her to rest in our backyard last week. A simple marker with her name and flowers planted by Adam. We can remember her with smiles now, rather than tears. She was a part of our family for only a short time (4 years) but in that short time, she managed to wiggle her way into this non cat persons  (me)  heart.

The last photo we have of her (Roxie-on the left) is this one, with Laylah. Who is getting extra love & attention, so she won’t be sad too.

We love you sweet girl & we promise never to forget!

 

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Fan-freaking-tastic #burstn2summer Check in

I am on fire for this challenge! I have been excited for other challenges, but for this one I am giving 150% of myself!

Ever day I am doing some kind of exercise. From last Monday to today I have logged 16.39 miles, when I am not running I am doing Ripped in 30 & Boot Camp. Can I get a Woot?!

I am over on my water every day & I am logging every single thing that goes into my mouth, which has helped me stay under my calorie goal.

I went into Boot Camp scared to death! I didn’t even look at the videos before the day it started. I figured if I did it would discourage me. The day the challenge started I was so excited about it, I did my bursting first, ahahaha! I came back in to look at the next exercise only to find myself back outside doing my 10 min warm up. Doh! Today I will do it in the right order. The hardest for me was the triceps move and the dips. My body doesn’t really like to move like that. But it will, damn it, I will make it.  My body wasn’t as sore as I thought, I suppose I should thank Jillian Michaels for that. Doing The Shred & Ripped in 30 has made it much easier.

Yesterday I made the mistake of doing Ripped in 30 & 3miles. My legs hurt so bad later that night. I need to pace myself and only do one a day. I really thought I could handle it, but my body reminded me I can’t (just yet).

Now onto the thing I am most excited about….the weigh in! Since starting this blog I never put my weight each week on here. I mentioned once, a while ago what I started out as, in 2010. I think that I need the accountability, so for each check in I will be.

Challenge 6/15 Start weight-220

Check in 6/22 Weight-217

Holy Hannah, -3lbs!

I did a fist pump and a Hell Yeah (loudly) this morning, there may have been a nakey happy dance too.  I had to peaked out the bathroom door to see if I woke up Dale. HA!

Now I must….

Because I have a bad habit of eating bad things on weigh in day, especially if I have a great weigh in. And I have Boot Camp to do!

Another great week is ahead, I just know it!

 

 

 

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Pineapple Coconut Squares

I didn’t put Low Calorie in this title, only because it is a little higher than others desserts that I have made. It is, however, Low Salt. I made this, earlier this  Spring, when it wasn’t so terribly hot. If you are not against turning the oven on in the summer, you must try this. It’s delicious!

See that little flower? Adam decided that it would look really pretty on the plate.  He is just to adorable.

Ingredients

3 TBS-Butter melted

3 TBS-Sugar

1 Egg

1 cup-All Purpose flour

1 tsp-Baking powder

2 8oz cans-Unsweetened crushed pineapple, drained

Topping

1 TBS-Butter melted

1 cup-Sugar

2 Eggs

2 cups-Flaked coconut

Directions

In a mixing bowl, beat the butter and Sugar. Beat in egg. Combine flour and baking powder, stir into egg mixture. Press into a 9 in square baking dish coated with cooking spray. Spread pineapple over the crust, set aside.

For topping, in a mixing bowl, beat the butter and sugar. Beat in the eggs. Stir in the coconut. Spread over pineapple. Bake at 325 for 35-40 mins or until golden brown. Cook before cutting into squares.

Nutrition

One serving-1 square

192 calories

7 g fat

46 mg cholesterol

79 mg sodium

30 g carbs

1 g fiber

3 g protein

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Low Calorie Stovetop Beef ‘n’ Shells

I wanted to share this recipe because it is so simple to make and wonderful for a quick dinner in the Summer. If you are like me I hate heating up the kitchen in the Summer time. So if I can make anything on the stove top and not have to turn on the oven, it’s definitely a plus!

I usually have a lot left over and it’s even better the next day!

Ingredients

4oz-uncooked medium pasta shells

1lb-lean ground beef (I used ground turkey)

1 med-onion

1 clove-garlic

1 15oz can-crushed tomatoes

1 8oz can-tomato sauce

1 tsp-sugar (I used sugar sub)

1/2 tsp-salt

1/2 tsp-pepper

Directions

Cook pasta according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a large saucepan, cook beef and onion until meat is no longer pink. Add garlic, cook 1min longer.

Stir in tomatoes, tomato sauce, sugar, salt and pepper. Bring to boil. Reduce heat, simmer, uncovered, for 10-15 mins. Drain pasta, stir into beef and heat through.

Nutrition

1 1/4 cup 339 calories

9g fat

56 mg Cholesterol

772 mg sodium

36 g carbs

4 g fiber

29 g protien

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Burst into Summer

I can not tell you how excited I am for this challenge! 11 weeks long! And there will be Boot Camp…whoa! I am scared, but I am thrilled to try something new. I have a feeling Christy will be kicking my ass. I need a good ass kicking to be honest!

Knowing the kick off to the challenge was today, I started this weekend getting into the grove. I wanted to be in a good place when it started so I could follow through with my momentum. I am feeling energized, strong and powerful!

My 40th birthday is August 7th and I want to lose at least 10lbs or more by then. To be below 200 would be even better, but setting my goal to high just makes me to nervous. I do much better with small goals.

Mini challenge for this week is water and more water. I am all over this! So far this week I have met and exceeded my goal in water. 64oz is what I want to achieve every day, but I have gotten 92.5oz everyday since Monday.

I am still working on my smoking. I have not quit yet, but I have slowed down. This will be another goal as well. I am still using it as a crutch, but hopefully by the time this challenge is over, I can say I don’t smoke or it’s occasional.

My sweetie is not doing this challenge with me (slacker LOL) but he is working out & running every night. We are keeping tabs on each other. He is my biggest supporter. Plus he likes to push me, so push on baby! I can take it! Bring it!

I want to shout out to my fellow Team 12 members! We got this, we own it!

 

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